xena Amro:Accept the Challenges

Xena Amro When I was in Grade Eight, I taught myself English through reading books. I still struggle sometimes with some English rules because I never fully learned all the grammar basics. The school I attended never cared much about students who got low grades; they would focus more on the “bright students”, students who got the highest marks. One day, my teacher was distributing the corrected English exams, and I was the one who has gotten the lowest grade. I was very embarrassed. I couldn’t stand the idea of being the biggest failure amongst my classmates. I raised my hand and stood up, shyly asking my teacher in Arabic, “How can I improve?” And I remember that scene as if it happened yesterday. She answered me with one word. “READ” That day, I chose to listen. I got home from School and picked up the first book I read “Be a Perfect Person in Just Three Days” by Stephen Manes. I enjoyed the book so much that I decided to read another one…and then another one… and then another one… And then all of a sudden my reading would increase to three books a day! I would sit on the bed all day long just reading the Sweet Valley Twins Series, and the dictionary lay open next to me for every word I couldn’t pronounce, or couldn’t comprehend the meaning of. Then one day, I had an assignment in class to write an essay, and I wanted to try my best. As I was writing in my copybook, my teacher came and stood next to me reading my unfinished essay. She frowned and asked the boy sitting next to me if I had cheated or if I had written it before class. He shook his head, and even though that remark was supposed to hurt me or make me feel sad, I was happy. I knew that the remark meant I had made recognizable progress. Summer came and I never stopped reading books to the extent that even my parents started noticing this change and were proud of me. During that time, I wanted to try something new. So I wrote my first poem. It was a silly love poem, but it was my own writing, my own achievement, my own hard work… I wrote more poems and stories, but I never tried to publish one, because even after all these years from having the lowest grade in class till reaching Grade 12 with one of the highest English scores… I still have writing insecurities. It’s hard for me to admit it publicly, but I do. I’m very passionate about reading and writing because they define me, they define my commitment, but for me, my writing is never good enough. I always say to myself, “I could be better” “I need to try harder” “My writing is one hell of a piece of crap!”… I would say all those things to myself but I would NEVER say “I am going to stop writing” or “That’s it I am quitting” Because I am not a quitter. Because my pencil is a weapon to fight oppression. Because each word I choose, I learned with great effort. And so I hope with this personal story I am sharing today, I will inspire people to never quit doing whatever they love. Always keep on learning, and never let your insecurities get the best of you. Because who knows? You might turn out to be the next “Jane Austen”. But even if you are not, you will have tried.