Yolla Abi Khattar:Abortion: A Choice Or A Crime?

Yolla Abi Khattar Abortion: A Choice Or A Crime? Today, abortion is a big issue concerning the whole society and all individuals. Once, there was a family consisting of a father, who had syphilis, a mother, who had tuberculosis, and their 3 children with interminable illnesses. The couple faced an unplanned pregnancy, but they didn’t abort and the mother gave birth to a child who became a legend, a legend that changed the faces of life, Beethoven was born. Abortion is the end of an innocent baby life. After several researches, I found that the definition of abortion is very near to that of murder, it ends the life of someone intentionally. Even though abortion is considered by some people an easy solution to solve the problem of an unwanted pregnancy, but its harmful effects on the social level, on the mother as well as the father make us want to make it illegal. To start with, the discussion on the social level took place to shed the light on the mother’s right to choose what they want to do versus the unborn baby right to live. According to the BBC ethics guide, opponents stated that women have the full right to choose what to do with their body, their own physique and have the authority to end the pregnancy since it is a part of their body (Clancy, n.d). On the contrary, I strongly believe that as much as this mother have privilege to control her body, this small baby have a simple right which is the right to live. According to the National Right to Life the human being life’s begins with fertilization; it’s when the sperm and the ovum fuse together and every human being have the right to live. So we cannot consider the fetus a part of the women’s body , he is a human being, and have as much as any person rights, so we should respect the unborn baby rights by making abortion illegal. Opponents also stated that abortion protects the victims of rape. Since the society sees the raped women as a victim and should not pay the fault of the rapist (Kolbert, n.d). On the contrary I strongly believe that abortion should be illegal even in the case of rape, according to the Priests for Life, murdering is even worse than raping. We cannot punish the wrong person, it is true that the mother is a victim, but by legalizing abortion, then there will be two victims, the mother and the unborn baby. So we by abortion we are committing a murder bigger than raping (Pavone, n.d). Second the debate took place in order to clarify if the legalization of abortion affects the mother. Opponents argued that abortion should be legalized to prevent the mother from making wrong decisions and try to abort at home or take poisons to get away of the baby (Messerli, 2012). But I noticed that when it is legalized the complications are much dangerous. According to the Department Of Health And Hospitals, abortion makes the women prone to have pelvic infection, infertility, death and much more complications (Kliebert, n.d.). Furthermore, the Prochoice Canadian Organization stated that when the women get pregnant tissue of immature cells will grow in her breast in order to breastfeed when she delivers. When the women abort, those tissues will remain in her breast making her prone to have breast cancer. Men present the other half of society, and for sure this issue of abortion legalization will affect them. Opponents argued in the BBC that they will have fewer responsibilities and more financial benefits (Brott). However, I found that Catherine T. Coyle, an RN and a PhD holder, was right when she claimed that abortion has negative impacts on men. The masculine identity is defined by the man’s capacity of protecting himself and his beloved ones as his parents, wife and children. And when the partner will abort, he will feel guilt and unable to protect his babies and this identity will be damaged. (Coyle, 2008). Finally, abortion is harmful to the society, to the mother as well as to the father. It affects all the society and harms the unborn baby who have right to live. So we should be aware of our actions, be aware of our behavior because an unwanted pregnancy is not resolved by abortion, it should be resolved by awareness. References Brott, A. A. (n.d.). Fathers' rights. Retrieved June 25, 2014, from BBC: http://www.bbc.co.uk/ethics/abortion/legal/fathers.shtml. Clancy, M. (n.d.). BBC - Ethics - Abortion: Arguments against abortion. Retrieved June 25, 2014, from Arguments against abortion: http://www.bbc.co.uk/ethics/abortion/mother/against_1.shtml Coyle, C. T. (2008, september). Men and Abortion: Psychological Effects. Retrieved June 25, 2014, from men and abortion: http://www.menandabortion.net/MAN/pdf/men_abortion_summary_table.pdf Kliebert, k. (n.d.). abortion and pregnancy risks. Retrieved June 25, 2014, from department of health and hospitals- louisiana: http://www.dhh.louisiana.gov/index.cfm/page/915/n/275 Kolbert, K. (n.d.). Rthics guide - Arguments in favour of abortion. Retrieved June 25, 2014, from BBC: http://www.bbc.co.uk/ethics/abortion/mother/for_1.shtml#top Messerli, J. (2012, January 7). Should Abortion Be Banned (Except in Special Circumstances Like Saving the Mother's Life)? Retrieved June 25, 2014, from Balanced politics: http://www.balancedpolitics.org/abortion.htm. Pavone, F. F. (n.d.). Rape and Abortion. Retrieved June 25, 2014, from Priests for Life: http://www.priestsforlife.org/articles/2777-rape-and-abortion

Hajar Radwan:Working Mothers

Working Mothers By: Hajar Radwan Lebanese American University (LAU) ID:20120265 Today, many women are juggling between taking care of their children and working. Some fall behind on the work missing out conferences or arriving late to work while others fall behind on household chores or commitments. Katrina Alcorn the writer of “Maxed Out: American Moms on the Brink” was one of the women trying to find a balance between work and household chores. (Antonia, 2013) . Until one day she simply maxed out due to the emotional stress she was feeling. Many women have difficulty balancing work and taking care of their children especially when there is no special consideration in most countries regarding working mom with kids. Leaving many women confused whether they should go back to work after giving birth or simply stay at home. To some working takes crucial amount of hours from the mother that should be designated to basic needs of her children and husband. What they fail to see is how actually working enhances one’s marriage, self esteem and also motivates children in the future. Opposing the believe that a women’s job is merely taking care of her family, women should be encouraged to work because of the benefits it has on her family and on herself. To some employment of women after giving birth has a negative impact on a child’s development level and cognitive skills thus resulting in drawbacks at school. A study conducted by The National Institute of Child Health and Human Development Study of Early Child Care showed that children whose mothers did not work when they were 9 months old scored fifteenth percentile on Bracken School Readiness test while children whose mothers did work scored four fourth percentile (Lewin, 2002). Thus signifying that women who work don’t have sufficient amount of time to spend with their children playing educational games in comparison to stay at home mothers. As a result, these children have fall behind slightly in their school work. Moreover there are different factors that might affect a child’s development which are the level of satisfaction in the work and her working hours (Lewin, 2002). Thus women who work long hours may not have time to exercise a child’s cognitive games. A study was conducted that linked number of working hours to child’s school readiness revealed that children whose mothers worked more than 30 hours a day had a low score in school readiness test (Lewin, 2002). In addition, if the mother feels that she is not happy with her work she might take it out on her children in order to release some steam. Sometimes the mother might actually come back from work angry or sad due to long hours at work and she might yell at her children at times. That is perfectly normal since you all feel sometimes that we are about to burst due to the stress we are all humans at the end of the day. However, this should not happen all the time if it does then it’s a signal for the mother to find a new job or work for fewer amounts of hours. Moreover, there might be other factors affecting a child’s development that are not related to a women’s work for example a child’s health. For example, if a child has Autism then definitely his or her development is affected. Therefore, we cannot put the whole blame on the work women are doing there are other things that might affect a child’s development not related to mothers work. Mothers who work help their partners and more importantly their children in making sure that they can afford all the medical expenses, food, clothes and toys that a child needs. In addition, most working moms spend a significant amount of time with their children when they come back because they know how to manage their time thus not affecting a child’s development. A studied conducted at Colombia University found out that working mothers are happier and have better mental health resulting in a stronger relationship with their children (Blake, 2010). In addition they provide better household income thus all affecting a child’s development in positive manner (Blake, 2010). Thus working enables a child to grow and develop in a healthier manner. To some working mothers are more likely to get a divorce because they believe working moms are at higher risk in neglecting their husbands and children. That’s why most people are against women working since working enables women to spread their wings and thus threaten the husband’s position as main provider for the family. Most often divorce is a result of competition between couples. Jealousy can develop between married couples regarding who is more successful and who is making more money. However, couple who truly love one another will actually be happy for his or her partner‘s success and would want to show off in front of others to reveal how proud he or she is. With that being said, not all couples are envious towards one another and the true reason for divorce might have nothing to do with jealousy it might be infidelity or money issues. In our culture its okay for a man to earn more than a woman but if a woman earns more it is viewed as unacceptable and reflects a bad image on the husband. In this scenario the husband seeks for divorce because he believes that earning more money is a reflection of his manhood. What many men fail to see is that money comes and goes and that marriage is not based on who should earn more and who should earn less. For instance, maybe his wife has higher level of education as a result she earns more. Women have a right to have a high salary just like men and it’s completely unethical to think otherwise. Another reason that working women have higher rates of divorce is due to neglecting her family and household chores. Women are not machines sometimes they have difficult time doing two things at one and here comes the husband’s role in supporting and helping his wife with household. A study for the Gender Equality Network estimated that in a family where the husband worked and wife didn’t the divorce rate was 3.3% and when the wife worked it rose to 6.5% (Beckford,2010). On the other hand when men helped it chores it went down to 4.5% and if he looked after the children when the wife worked it dropped to 3.2% (Beckford, 2010). Therefore, working by itself doesn’t increase the likelihood for divorce on contrary stabilizes a marriage. Dr. Sigle-Rushton who published journal called “Feminist Economics” claimed that research is putting a great emphasis on a women’s work and not enough emphasis on division of household chores (Beckford, 2010). Therefore divorce is due to conflicts in understanding that marriage is a partnership and that each should take responsibilities equally. Working enables women to feel self-fulfilled and ignited with power and strength. Moreover it enables mothers to feel that they are contributing to society in a positive manner and thus promoting contentment and motivation. A recent study conducted by Adrianne Frech and Sarah Damaske found out that at age of 40 women who worked after birth of the first child showed better health and physical wellness then stay at home moms (Coontz , 2013). Therefore, at an older age, women who are engaged in the work field feel more at ease and they feel that they have accomplished their dreams. Another issue might rise is whether there is a difference in level of well being among women who work different number of hours. Starting 1991 Group of researchers in the University of North Carolina interviewed 1364 mothers for over 10 years the results showed that there is no difference in well being between women who worked full time or part time (Paxman, 2011). We can conclude that the degree of happiness and wellness is dependent on the level of satisfaction and passion a women feels towards her job. For example, my mom has indescribable love for shoes; she would spend the whole day in the store she owns and not complain once. Therefore, the number of hours spent doesn’t really matter when it comes to better well being. Moreover it showed that there was a noticeable difference in state of wellness among working and stay at home moms with working mother being happier (Paxman, 2011). Most women who stay at home feel like they are facing a locked door of self-fulfillment because they don’t make time to answer their own personal needs .Working enables women to be an active member of society enhancing the world’s perception of what women are capable of doing which is a source of motivation for the younger generation. Most of the successful and powerful figures today are women such as Oprah who has done an incredible job in helping the upcoming generation mainly women to seek a fine education. Sometimes women are being viewed as that they are incompetent or unable to reach the same height of success as man which completely contradicts what we are seeing today. Women have a right to feel joy, power, independence, and self-actualization equally as men. Some women are contempt with staying home and they believe they were born to be mothers and that it’s the most difficult and most rewarding job on earth. While in fact it is, taking care of one’s children is most demanding job and joy gained outweighs everything else. Stay at home mom do an remarkable job but there comes a point where the emotion kicks in and mother will feel at some point in her life that she is not taking care of her needs because she is simply too busy taking care of her children’s needs. A survey conducted by Working Women Magazine showed that “60 % of men and 70% of women believed that importance of self- achievement is as important as a child needs for the best care that can be provided (Working Mothers Effect on Children, 1983). There it is important for woman not to view working as a way of ignoring their kids , on the contrary not only does it benefit the mother but also provides a good income thus a child grows in a stable environment and with available resources .In addition , researchers at the University of Carolina who studied difference between stay at home mothers and working moms reported that part time moms where equally involved in child’s school as stay at home and even enhanced their children learning capabilities (Paxman, 2011). Thus a child level of education is not diminished due to working mothers on the other hand it is enhanced. Children look up to their parents as role model thus when they see their parents involved in work field and well accomplished it makes them strive to resemble them. For example, a child whose mother is successful surgeon will certainly teach the child the importance of working and in the future he or she will want to be as successful. Every kid looks up to their parents and when they see their mother working little girls will aspire to do the same. Working mothers are able to enroll a child in prestigious school and also are able to take care of a child’s health through regular checkups at the doctor since they don’t have financial worries. Working mothers have a more stable marriage then stay at home mothers. Working women have a more productive marriage which is based on mutual understanding of needs , desires and worries. In United States Statistic show that the divorce rate in 1970s where 23 divorce per 1000 it dropped to 17 divorces (Parker-pope, 2010). Thus showing that women who more financially independent and educated have a longer lasting marriage and lesser rate of divorce then stay at home moms (Parker-pope, 2010). In married couple where both a husband and a wife work they are more likely to have a stable and satisfying marriage since both know the importance of working and can incorporate that in their everyday lives. American couples from a middle range economic status where both parties work report the highest marital equality (Coontz, 2013). Working couple can divide tasks equally with one another and can make things a lot easier. One must point out that woman who work while their husbands stay at home in America report that their marriage is not what it is used to be and no longer a happy one( Coontz ,2013). Therefore, understanding one another and husband helping out the mother and vice versa is the key for a happy marriage. The issue here is not about the husband staying at home its rather about not helping the mother with household chores. At the end of the day, marriage is personal and emotional bond and sometimes it happens that a marriage fails regardless whether the woman is working or not. Some might say that working women get easily divorced which might be true. Since working women have many social interactions and thus are able to distinguish between a healthy and an unhealthy relationship. And thus they are unable to tolerate being treated in poor –manner by their husband and because of their financial independence they can take action easily. Whereby a stay at home women need to take many things into considerations including financial stability. Furthermore, working women chose their partner more wisely since they are not merely concerned with the husband’s financial status. What they look for is a man to respect them and who is able to take on a fair weight of responsibility. In conclusion, whether women should return to work after giving birth or whether she should stay at home remains a troubling issue to many women. Some oppose the idea of women going back to work after giving birth because they believe that she is neglecting her children and effecting negatively their growth and development. Moreover they claim that working mothers have a higher rate of divorce. On the contrary working doesn’t affect children negatively it actually enhances their learning capabilities and makes them ambitious. In addition, working builds up confidence, happiness and better financial income. The benefits of working actually outweigh the risks or disadvantages. Society today should show more support to working moms and not try to scrutinize them since they are doing a remarkable job in balancing work and children care. At the end of the day it’s all about what makes one feel content and accomplished, if working makes you feel that then go ahead and do it. And if staying at home actually makes you happy then stay without regretting the decision. References: Dell'antonia, K. j. (November 4 ,2013). Being a Working Mother Means Always Having to Say You're Sorry. Retrieved fromThe NewYork Times: http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/11/04/being-a-working-mother-means-always-having-to-say-youre-sorry/. Beckford, M. (May 14,2010). Divorce twice as likely when husbands neglect housework. Retrieved from The Telegraph: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/7719666/Divorce-twice-as-likely-when-husbands-neglect-housework.html Blake, H. (augest 01,2010). Working Mother Donot Harm Their Children. Retrieved from The telegraph:http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/children_shealth/7921052/Working-mothers-do-not-harm-their-children-study-finds.html : Coontz, S. (june 1,2010). The triumph of the working mothers. Retrieved from The Newyork Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/02/opinion/sunday/coontz-the-triumph-of-the-working-mother.html?_r=0. Lewin, T. ( july 17,2002). Study Links Working Mothers to Slower Learning. Retrieved from The NewYork Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2002/07/17/education/17CHIL Parker-pope, T. (January 22,2010). She Works.They're Happy. Retrieved from The NewYork Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/24/fashion/24marriage.html?pagewanted=all Paxman, L. (december 13,2011). Working mothers are HAPPIER than stay -at-home-mums. Retrieved from The Dialy Mail: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2073532/Working-mothers-HAPPIER-stay-home-mums-study-reveals.html Working Mothers Effect on Children. ( july 28,1983). Retrieved from The NewYork Times: http://www.nytimes.com/1983/07/28/garden/working-mothers-effect-on-children.html

Katia Movcessian:Save the Water to save yourselves

المصدر: "النهار" كاتيا موفسيسيان- ناشطة مستقلة 23 أيار 2014 الساعة 16:13 "تغير المناخ؟ غير عادتك" حملة توعية، نتيجة مبادرة فردية، هدفها تسليط الضوء على عاداتنا السيئة اليومية بهدر وتلويث ثروتنا المائية. تأتي الحملة تزامناً مع أزمة المياه المقبلة على لبنان جراء التغيّر المناخي والتراجع الكبير في منسوب الأمطار والثلوج، الأمر الذي سينتج عنه نقص في المياه نسبةً لإحتياجات المواطنين إليها. فإلى جانب مسؤولية الدولة بالعمل على إستراتيجية إنقاذ وإيجاد حلول، تقع مسؤولية أيضاً على عاتق المواطن حيث بإمكاننا كافراد وأصحاب معامل المساهمة في المحافظة على ثروتنا المائية بتوفير المياه و عدم هدرها، والامتناع عن رمي النفايات في المياه والأنهر.

Xena Amro:Innocent Child

Disclaimer: This story is based on true events, some of which happened personally with the writer. Innocent Child Beware my innocent child, A blood stain can taint a saint, The heck of a chick that licks a nick, Is forced to marry someone who’s a slick, Remember what happened to the refugee girl, Her head collapsed and shattered the pearl, Her scream is still heard in the lair, Where her wicked blood was sold as A poisonous dare, Thee, my innocent child, lose trace of the road. Your solemn heart would never be owned Thee, my innocent child, let go of your soul. Your blood shall never be sold nor bought, My innocent child with her white gown, Tilting around in the little town, She shines with her smile, Every now and then, My only innocent child… My little girl came rushing in her room, with her fingertips covering the innocent tears trickling down her rosy cheeks, pleading me not to take her away. “But why?! Why should we leave?! Mommy, please I promise to behave! I promise not to break my toys anymore! Pleaseee let us stay!” She wept on my lap as she pulled at my grey pants to stop me from packing her clothes. My beautiful six-year old girl did not seem to understand the reason behind my earlier pronouncement. I broke her heart that day, but I knew I had to for her own sake. She was my reason for living. Her father had abandoned us shortly after she was born, and I was left to raise her alone. I could not allow her to go through what I had gone through in my childhood. I had to tell her the depressing and unwelcoming news that we would be departing from Lebanon to never come back ever again. She thought I was punishing her for misbehaving at school, where she had broken one of her favorite toys by accident the day before. She thought she was the one to blame! She, my baby girl, does not know what the beginning of war feels like… But I do… I do! I know the feeling of terror when bombs explode near your house, and you’re stuck there all alone. I know the fear of having your phone signal turn off at the most critical moments, when you are trying to reach your loved ones, to be reassured that they have escaped death temporarily, and that you are okay as well. My childhood was filled with trauma, and I refuse for my daughter to experience what I went through again. I watched her cry in the corner as she hugged her newly adopted kitten. I felt my heart flutter as I realized what reality had done to me. I was torn apart because my country had made me feel like a stranger rather than a child, like a refugee rather than a citizen! Lebanon was no longer a place of freedom and democracy. It had been torn apart by a black cloud of dictatorship and injustice, and it had been that way for a long, long time. I stuffed my baby girl’s toys in her backpack and had flashbacks of my country when I was a child not much older than her. I remembered my first trauma…the war of 2006. My mother woke me up after she heard the sound of bombs exploding in our neighborhood. My siblings and I ran to hide in what we thought was the safest room in the house, although we knew no room was really safe. We had no idea what to do or who to call, but my mother said we had to leave immediately for my village, Mouaysra, because it would be much safer up there. We packed our clothes in less than 10 minutes and got in the car to pick up my Granny and my other family members. Seven families lived together in our small village house. We were all escapees. We were all refugees. We rarely had any food to eat, or even a clean place to sleep since we shared beds and bedding, but we all tried to help one another. We huddled there until the war ended, but small regional wars would break out every now and then, so it was never truly safe. Religion was, and still is, the root of the problem. It separates people from each other, and makes them forget that at the end of day, it’s not about what your religion is, it’s about what kind of a human being you are. People killed and were killed in the name of religions that preached peace, and never saw the irony of it. Perhaps if there were no religion, these wars wouldn’t have occurred. But, who knows? For I see so many humans, but very little humanity. I grew up being bombarded with politics, religion, cultural traditions, and injustice. Everyone seemed to be fighting for their right to be free without realizing that they were taking someone else’s freedom in the process. Ever since I was a child, my dream was to get away. I did not care where to. All I wanted was a one-way ticket back home… to my “real home”, wherever that was, with “real security” where I could reach my highest potential without the fear of being judged or underestimated for being female. Lebanon and its society limited my capabilities as a child. It jams little kids’ imaginations into tiny boxes, and no matter how hard the children tried to get out, somehow they always found their shoelaces caught in the corner of the box. It’s a metaphor, you see. But, it is all reality for me. I walked over to the corner where my daughter was crying. I knelt down and seated myself next to her. I held her hand slowly in mine and stroked it for comfort; then I pulled her over to my lap and kissed her forehead. She looked me in the eye and asked me in the most innocent childish tone… “Mommy, are you mad at me?” I shook my head, “No baby, I am not mad at you at all! I love you so much that I have to protect you. Do you understand that?” “Yes, but I feel safe with you, Mommy. I will always be.” “Oh, yes. That is true, darling… and in order for both of us to be safe, we have to leave. There’s no hope left in me.” “Hope? What is that, Mommy?” “Ahhhh...hope is a beautiful feeling. Like a spark in you. You feel it right here.” I pointed my finger towards her heart. She giggled gently and continued inquiring, “Why is it gone?” “Because it wasn’t there in the first place, Petty, I was only pretending to feel it.” “Is that bad, Mommy?” “Yes, my dear…Bad for both of us.” I nodded while pitying myself. She hugged my neck with her small arms and kissed my cheek. I caressed her hair softly remembering how all these years passed and nothing had changed in Lebanon. Not the people, nor the politicians. Not the laws, nor the punishments… Not the murderers, nor the victims. Who are the victims? We, the children of this country, are the victims. We grow up with fear. We live with fear, and we die with fear for the rest of our families. How come nothing has changed even with all the protests and the rebellious acts? What’s stopping us from changing tremendously? If only there were a tomorrow in Lebanon. If only we knew that there would be a tomorrow in Lebanon. Ahh… and we dream of what it would be like… We dream of Lebanon being a place of security, where you wake up to the sound of birds chirping rather than your neighbors fighting or the sound of news of a bomb explosion. We dream of a place of work where our bosses won’t harass us if we choose to wear a skirt. We dream of Lebanon punishing the rapist rather than demeaning the victim and nourishing the rape culture. We dream of Lebanon protecting women’s rights and making them a priority. We dream of people following the law, regardless of how much money they’ve got, or how many connections they have, knowing there will be consequences if they choose to break a law. We dream of a place of security where we do not have to worry about civil war every now and then. We dream and we dream, and we keep on dreaming… but then…reality hits, and we have got to run. In the middle of the night, I watched the rain pour on my window, and I wondered whether I would regret my decision. I wondered if taking away my daughter to another country is just. Her roots and mine are engraved in Lebanon. If only I could stay. My daughter asks me, “What would make us stay?” She believed fixing her broken toy would help me change my mind. It’s not only the toy that is broken. It’s the system, and when the system is broken, the people are endangered. I recall what I learned at university about Maslow’s hierarchy; it builds upon the idea that the most basic needs of human beings need to be met before higher order needs like self-actualization can be met. As long as we are living in a place where we struggle for safety and security, we can never achieve our highest potentials. We can never achieve greatness when we are worried if the next time we step on the street, a bomb will go off. The Lebanese have been struggling for ages to achieve a place of complete safety, where their environment is secure, their atmosphere is not polluted, their political system is not corrupt, and their economic situation is not hanging precariously on the edge. The Lebanese deserve a place where they can feel safe, and if Lebanon is not safe enough, there is no other option but to leave. I woke up in the middle of the night to find my daughter cuddling beside me. I got up to bring an extra bed cover, but as soon as I placed my feet on the ground, her eyelids opened and she hummed “Mommy…” “I’m here baby.” “Don’t go. Please.” I lifted my feet back under the covers and brought her closer to me. “Will you tell me a bedtime story?” “You promise to sleep afterwards?” “Pinky promise.” “Once upon a time, a baby kangaroo was born in his mama’s pouch. His mama took him everywhere. To the river, to the forest, to the park and all the beautiful places kids love to see… She made sure he was safe and happy. He never left her pouch, because it was the only place where he felt secure. But one day, the king of the jungle was no longer in power, and things started falling apart. Everyone was fighting to become king! They were all arranging traps against each other to be the first to reach the top of the hill, from which the lion king used to watch all the animals. Mama kangaroo knew it was not going to end well for her and her child. She felt the need to run away with her baby or else they would not survive, but even if they did… they would not be happy. Mama kangaroo packed her food and planned her way out. Her baby was not frightened by the idea, for he trusted his mama’s instincts. Mama Kangaroo ran away with her baby and never came back, but rumor says that they lived happily ever after!” I looked over to my side and found my daughter snoring quietly like a small kitten. I smiled and kissed her forehead. I promised to keep her safe, and I was ready to do anything to keep my promise. The next day, I woke up with a very bad headache. My daughter was planning to go to school one last day to say goodbye to her friends, and for some reason that made me feel sick. I threw up a couple of times while packing her stuff, and thought it must be because of the fear of travelling away forever. I drove off my daughter, and she kissed my cheek really hard before she went away. She waved goodbye to me and yelled, “I love you, mom.” The sound of that made my headache disappear right away. I went back to work to pack my files, and then… BOOM! “We have just been informed that the sound of bombings went off few seconds ago at an elementary school in Bir Al Abed...” Reporter on the news gasped. “There are, as yet, unconfirmed reports coming in of many dead and injured.” I dropped the bag of papers I was carrying as I arrived to the office, and fell on the ground after hearing the location of the bombing. NOOO!! THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING AGAIN!!!! MY BABY!!! I HAVE TO MAKE SURE MY BABY IS OKAYYYY!!! Bad thoughts started swaying in my head, and I was about to faint. I ran to the parking and drove quickly back to Petty’s school. I could not control myself, my fingers were shivering, and I cried so hard as I tried phoning the school, but as always the signals were out! I screamed when I saw that the streets were blocked by people running to get help. I saw bodies on the ground, and blood spread everywhere. The gendarmes were trying to push people away from the location of bombing afraid that another bomb would go off again soon. Mothers were rushing in chanting to know if their kids were alright, and I ran between people pushing and yelling and crying… Where’s my baby?! WHERE’S MY BABY?! All I wanted was to embrace her and take her away from this cruel, cruel world! Bombing innocent children! Why?! What’s this terrorism for?! I heard the ambulance rushing in between the people. I saw bodies of small children being carried away. I smelled death in the streets. Petty’s sweet voice and laughter rang in my head over and over again. “I love you, mom.” She sends an air kiss and goes away… I, an atheist, prayed a silent prayer we used to learn at School. “God our Father, Your power brings us to birth, Your providence guides our lives, and by Your command we return to dust. Lord, those who die still live in Your presence, their lives change but do not end. I pray in hope for my family, relatives and friends, and for all the dead known to You alone. In company with Christ, Who died and now lives, may they rejoice in Your kingdom, where all our tears are wiped away. Unite us together again in one family, to sing Your praise forever and ever. Amen.” The prayer is answered with only deathly silence. The dark has taken over my soul. I promised to keep her safe, and I broke that promise. The country I live in has destroyed me. It has destroyed my future. What would make me stay anymore? My kid has been murdered in a senseless act of terror, and hundreds of other kids are still dying needlessly every year because of violent acts. Whose fault is it? They’re just kids! They play, they sing, and they dance… but they do no harm to you! So, why did you kill them?! WHY DID YOU KILL MY BABY GIRL?! A tear drops on the ink as I write my story. I watch the news every day and the number of kids dying is growing. I sit in my room helpless, and I stroke my baby girl’s kitten. I can still smell her presence in every corner of the house. I wonder if she’s safe now with the rest of the kids. Probably playing in heaven happily… I recollect a note I wrote in my journal back in the days… “I'm a murderer in my writings; I kill with pride and without mercy. My characters weep and pray to me, but I am like God; I take death without any condolences, for the purpose of making my plot more thrilling. I am like God; I murder the innocent characters in my story and keep the filthy ones to live longer. For, I am the one in power of words, metaphors, and the climax... and my characters shall worship me because their future rests on my finger stamping… I'm God in My Writings” If only there was a tomorrow for my child… If only she was able to wake up again! I’d give up my life to see her smile once again! She was just an innocent child with a smile that could light up the entire world. You killed happiness, and you say it’s in the name of religion. You killed happiness, and you are proud of it. But what kind of a human are you?... You’re a monster. A terrorist monster. My baby girl’s ghost haunts me at night, “What would make you stay?” Assurance would make me stay. Assure me that I or my beloved ones are not next in line to be bombed and I’ll stay. Assure me that I and my family have the right to be safe; and you will work on providing safety to us! It’s no longer about hope. It’s about the ugly truth of reality. Save us. Written by: Xena Amro

Joy Homsy:A Mother or a Boss?

A Mother or a Boss? A mother or a boss? This is a controversial question that is being asked nowadays in society. People question women’s ability to manage both their house and their work and give them the choice to pick only one of the two hard tasks. But shouldn’t we get over this doubt concerning women’s capacities? Well, this puts us in front of the debatable issue of working mothers that has been subject to many studies in the past decades. Society thinks that career-oriented women are not supposed to be mothers, as if a woman should stay at home all day long in order to ensure the best child care for her children. But this is not the case; women are multitasking and can balance between motherhood and work. It is definitely challenging and effortful, but it brings up very satisfying results for the woman herself, her family and for society. The main reason behind opposing mothers’ work is the education of the children and their intellectual growth that may be affected. They say that a busy career-oriented woman will not have enough time to take care of her children and to assure them all they need, and that her work will become her priority. Mainly this becomes more difficult for one to five year-olds, knowing that they need much more care and that their education and nutrition at this age will affect their growth. Many studies have been conducted in order to prove this theory. Doughty (n.d.) mentions in his article a research done by Joseph Rowntree Foundation on “1263 young people across all social groups who were born in the 1970s”. This study showed that children at a very young age whose mothers worked seem to have lower learning capacities and greater risk of psychological distress (Doughty, n.d.). Well, it appears that working mothers are causing the damage of their children’s prospect. Another study shows both the consequences of the maternal employment and that of the quality of the child care. This study is based on data from The National Institute of Child Health of Human Development Study of Early Child Care and is “considered the most comprehensive child-care study to date” (Lewin, 2002, p.1). It indicates that an employment of thirty hours a week or more, as well as a very early child care before nine months will lead to lower scores on readings tests at age three. On the other hand, an average home environment and an average quality child care after nine months will let the three years old child score well at the 50th percentile on the Bracken School Readiness test that evaluates the knowledge of colors, letters and numbers (Lewin, 2002). Last but not least, it seems that a child who has a good quality child care and whose mother takes care of him after work will get a good score in that test. So is maternal employment really behind the damage of a child’s prospect? Well, it depends on the woman’s ability to manage both “jobs”. It is common that a husband prefers his wife to be a stay-at-home mother in order to take care of the children and the needs of the house. But what about the financial rewards it can get? Actually a working mother has the chance to raise the standard of living of her family. Today’s living expenses are high and are increasing ever year. Actually being a housewife isn’t really a benefit for children because financial distress is a source of marital unhappiness and conflicts in the family (Coontz, 2013). So both a husband and his wife share financial responsibilities towards their family. Rich (2010, p.1) agrees with this fact and states in his article that a study “found that children whose mothers improved the family income significantly, or selected high quality child care, or remained sensitive to their children did not have any cognitive setbacks when compared with children of stay-at-home mothers”. Simply, a mother’s income improves her family’s financial status and helps her children get all their needs including a high quality child care. Other than this, a working woman gives back to her society and ensures a better economical cycle. There are many jobs that need to be fulfilled by women, and in this way mothers’ employment participates in the progress of society. A woman does not work for the sake of financial rewards only, but mainly for the intellectual need to work. A mother’s need for self-achievement is as important as her child’s need for care, and actually “women who like their work and find it challenging make better mothers” (Rich, 2010, p.2). A mother needs to pursue a career just like her husband, and there’s no need to speak about gender intellectual equality because we are past this issue. A working mother earns the respect of her husband and that of her children. Actually she is an inspiration for her children that can look up to her instead of looking up to someone else. The inspiration is right at their home! So it is certain that working improves women’s well being because it gives her the chance to use all qualifications she has and education she received, as well as an ability to maintain a high profile in her chosen career. The life of a working woman is full of exuberance compared to that of a stay-at-home mother. On a personal level stay-at-home mothers show more episodes of anger and depression than their employed counterparts (Coontz, 2013). Also working mothers have a better physical and mental health when they become forty years old. Their marriage is then more satisfying and their children more happy (Coontz, 2013). It seems that even if women think of work as self-interest and a need for personal achievements, it is also bringing pride and joy to her husband and children. Above all, mothers’ work is beneficial for the education of their children, even if it doesn’t seem obvious. High quality childcare offers very satisfying intellectual conditions for the child, and it also helps him become sociable due to the time he spends with other children. Dough (n.d.) claims that the development of childcare increases the educational chances of working mothers’ children. Actually a child doesn’t need to stay next to his mother all day long, or he’ll end up being much attached to her which is not good for him. When his mother is at work, the child is either at the childcare or at his relatives, and with different people around every day he becomes emancipated and comfortable in society. What is also important to the child is his father’s care which becomes more intense when the mother is working. The husband feels the responsibility of educating his children and shares it with his wife. A study showed that when mothers started working fathers increased the amount of time spent with their children (Coontz, 2013). As for the mother’s attitude, it is evident that a working mother has an intense interaction with her kids when she gets back home every day, and even more intense during the week end. Even her work cannot prevent her from staying connected during the day once every while. So in this way a working mother will make sure that her children get all the care and education they need for a perfect growth, even if she’s away during the day. This being said, there is no doubt that women can balance between work and motherhood. Multitasking working mothers are managing their two “jobs” and proving their intellectual and educating capacities to themselves, their family and to society. We should stop debating whether we want mothers to work or not, and start applying working conditions and that will let families take full advantage of the benefits of women’s employment and reduce its stresses. To answer the question: a mother or a boss? Simply, both! Joy Homsy joy.elhomsy@lau.edu

Jamal Eldanaf:Yes for Working Mothers

Jamal Eldanaf

Yes for Working Mothers When you are a mother, you are never surely alone in your beliefs. A mother is the most faithful friend we have. When judgments are heavy and unexpected problems fall upon us; when misfortune takes the place of affluence; when friends leave us; when worries surround us, still will she adhere to us, and struggle by her wise teachings and suggestions to dissolve the clouds of gloom to returns the peace to our hearts. This is my mother. She had the ability to nurture me and my twin, finish house chores, and help my brother and all of all she was always on time at 8:00 am in her office. She is an executive director working in nearby company. She was never late in her work, neither in providing us the care we want. She had to work twice hard after work to cook, clean and check our health appointments and immunizations. She never quit caring because of her work. From here working mothers should be supported and never undermined for not fully being housewives. Children of working mother struggle twice as hard as nonworking mothers. Is it their fault to be left alone all day? Don’t they have the right to proper maternity? Well, opponents argue that women should devote their time to their houses. Katrina Alcorn explained in her book that working women are prone to several embarrassing situations where they are obliged to feel sorry every time they miss a meeting or arrive late to work (Rich, 2010). That means they can avoid apologizing each time by taking the job of a real mother only. An example is Jake, a working mother, who missed her children’s immunization just because of work (Rich, 2010). So, it is unethical to mess up with the health of children when it is supposed to be the most important issue for who are called mothers. Portugal, Sweden, Denmark, US, Norway….etc are some of the countries with the highest percent of working mothers and the increase is on the road. Consequently children suffer from parental bonding and can develop mistrust in their mothers. In these countries women have to leave their kids in a day care center and to pick them up after work. Mothers feel exhausted and have no time for that. Thus these kids sleep alone and wake up the next day following the same routine. Lots of mothers leave their kids several days without attempting to visit them even. Many children are nurtured by babysitters and tend to show more love towards them to the extent they call them as mothers. Mothers are really selfish to think about money only where love and care are much more important. Mothers are supposed to be role models to their children. Spending time with the computer, with employers, with officers and paperwork does not define what an actual mother should do. A survey revealed that 63% of working men and 52% of working women admitted that mothers staying outside home influence their children negatively especially if they are less than six year olds (“ Working Mothers: Effects on Children”,1983). That is, at this age specifically children need special care and spending little time is not enough to fulfill what a child really needs. Moreover these children are more likely to duplicate a grade, have several colds per year and suffer mental stressors. Also the effects of a full time employed mother are very similar to rising up in a single-parent family. Educational outcomes are noticeable with below average grades and lots of absences. Students are 20% less likely to get an A. Not to forget the psychological distresses and emotional ignorance their kids experience (Douchty, n.d.). Thus ignorance regardless of its type is a kind of emotional abuse that is against the principles of child’s rights. In addition children who spent most of their times in day care centers are more likely to be aggressive and have mysterious behaviors. Not to forget that boys are more affected than girls (Lewin, 2002). As a result, boys tend to be more aggressive and need continuous follow up that is not provided in day care centers due to the large number of kids. Mothers offer more attention at the behavior of her children through observation at home. Specialists argue that women work only to fill their free time when their kids are out thus considered as unstable wives. If mothers work thirty hours or more outside, her kids are more likely to have cognitive deficits (Coontz, 2013). In other words, the thinking process would decline as a result of deficient reinforcement and educational awards that are essential in building own powers of knowledge. Children need someone beside, someone who listens to them, who stand by their side and catch their hand when in need. Most kids prefer to share their secrets and worries with their mothers and need help in taking the wise decisions so the absence of the primary care provider is extremely devastating in this case. On the other hand supporters argue that mothers are considered the primary care givers and support to their kids. Their function is indispensable to producing well accustomed adults who develop to become positive contributors to society. Hence, a successful man who contributes to the benefit of his surrounding is the product of a good mother. If a mother is absent from home, it is looked at ridiculously by society. In addition mothers are the influential leaders of society. That is why they tend to struggle to combat corruption and demoralization that the big authorities committed. Mothers tend to nourish and teach generations not only morals, but also disciplines. A great example is Ms. Sanaa that started as a teacher to end up being counselor. That is, mothers can make influential shifts that target the benefits of society and population. Besides, they occupy high positions to make a change whether in a simple office or a government. They strive for equality and create several associations that support human rights holding several workshops and awareness campaigns. One of the important ones located in Ebadieh Mount Lebanon. The last orientation addressed women’s right in childcare in case of divorce or separation. It also highlighted the issue of mother’s rights in giving the nationality to their children. Therefore society cannot progress without working mothers- the leaders for a better future and the major contributors of prosperity in the society. Adding to the previous argument in the previous paragraph, working mothers also play an extremely essential role in sustaining their marriage, providing the best for their children and improving the economic status. Freidan (2013) explained that women who engage in the fieldwork are happier, their marriage is more satisfied and their children would flourish. Coontz (2013) in her article showed that two third of women are married and employed and are the primary breadwinners. This in return lowers the percentages of divorce thus saving marriage relationships. Moreover a study in the US proved that children of working mothers have lesser behavioral problems and tend to achieve high intellectual standards (Coontz, 2013). Accordingly, high quality behavior as explained by psychologists is dependent on good parenting practices. Additionally children whose mothers contribute in the economical income face no cognitive impairments as compared to those whose mothers stay at home. Also, child’s wellbeing is not solely influenced by mother, a number of factors such as home atmosphere, fatherhood and schools play a role too. Furthermore the work conditions of the mother and the challenges she faces can make her a better mother (Rich, 2010). Definitely, she tends to build better problem-solving capabilities due to the challenges she faces and the mistakes she learns from every day. Likewise, families with low income are more prone to fights and relation instabilities compared to families with dual parent working. Mothers have lots of chores to do where they find no time for themselves. They work hard to provide their children high quality of life, to support their marriage, to improve the economic status. Not only working mothers are more satisfied with their marriage, but also give more freedom to their kids. They discover the outside world and get a better perceptive of what is erroneous and what is correct. They tend to achieve self fulfillment and self actualization by exploring the surrounding .In contrast a mother who stays at home feels more stressed, incomplete and disappointed. A working mother helps her children manage their time and interact better with people. Because she spends most of her day at work, she gives them more space and freedom for self determination opposite to housewives who interfere in their children’s life and annoy them. Moreover children of working mothers are more independent. The gigantic majority of mothers today with very young children are working in different fields of study and gaining money. They prioritize the chores of the day despite their busy schedule and accept any changes they face. Women’s activity reached its peak before the age of 35 with 1454 working women 15 year olds or more. Not to forget the ruthless schedule, the lack of paid maternity and the stressors of everyday (Dell’atonia, 2013). Actually, work facilities are slight and need to be more supportive taking into consideration women’s right to maternal rest and paid salaries. Despite the challenges they face, mothers remain the survivors of the hard journey. Yet, some rules and regulations must be reviewed and balanced for the sake of motherhood. For example, Ola gave birth to a baby girl 6 month ago where she felt guilty staying home due to the monetary losses she faced as a result of extending the period allowed postpartum. Working mothers are more flexible and understanding and tend to respect their kid’s own space and privacy. To sum up, working mothers deserve support due to the efforts they contribute to society and sacrifices they deliver for the sake of their children. Not to forget the obstacles they struggle to preserve their marriage and the countless achievements they accomplish. However, children have the right of maternity and care that working women are not aware of. Their educational outcomes are affected by the number of working hours of their mothers. Although opponents and devotees differ in their approach toward the issue of working mothers, it remains the circumstances in which the mother lives, the work place and the presence of a significant other that determine their ability to withstand the demands of everyday life. For example a supporting husband can help in childbearing, house work and finances along with teaching his children and following up on their vaccines. My father is an excellent model of supportive husband. He used to cook and clean whenever he arrives early from work. He supported my mother throughout her life since our birth and never say no once. Both moms and dads contribute to the welfare of their children only if they construct a strong- understanding relationship that never breaks in front simple arguments. Let us open our eyes on the importance of working mothers. Let us applause what mothers have achieved in the history till now and let us all struggle to protect their rights. Coontz, S. (July1, 2013). The Triumph of the working mother. The New York Times . Retrieved from http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/02/opinion/sunday/coontz-the-triumph-of-the-working-mother.html?_r=0. Dell'antonia , K.J, (November 4, 2013). Being a working mother means always Having to say you’re sorry. The New York Times . Retrieved from http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/11/04/being-a-working-mother-means-always-having-to-say-youre-sorry/. Douchty, S. (n.d.). Working mothers risk damaging their child's prospects. Mailonline. Retrieved from http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-30342/Working-mothers-risk-damaging-childs-prospects.html. Lewin, T. (July17, 2002). Study links working mothers to slower learning . The New York Times. Retrieved from http://www.nytimes.com/2002/07/17/education/17CHIL.html. Rich, M. (August3, 2010). Don’t worry, working moms. The New York Times . Retrieved from http://economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/08/03/dont-worry-working-moms/ Working mothers: Effect on children. (1993). The New York Times . Retreived from http://www.nytimes.com/1983/07/28/garden/working-mothers-effect-on-children.html