Jamal Eldanaf:Yes for Working Mothers

Jamal Eldanaf

Yes for Working Mothers When you are a mother, you are never surely alone in your beliefs. A mother is the most faithful friend we have. When judgments are heavy and unexpected problems fall upon us; when misfortune takes the place of affluence; when friends leave us; when worries surround us, still will she adhere to us, and struggle by her wise teachings and suggestions to dissolve the clouds of gloom to returns the peace to our hearts. This is my mother. She had the ability to nurture me and my twin, finish house chores, and help my brother and all of all she was always on time at 8:00 am in her office. She is an executive director working in nearby company. She was never late in her work, neither in providing us the care we want. She had to work twice hard after work to cook, clean and check our health appointments and immunizations. She never quit caring because of her work. From here working mothers should be supported and never undermined for not fully being housewives. Children of working mother struggle twice as hard as nonworking mothers. Is it their fault to be left alone all day? Don’t they have the right to proper maternity? Well, opponents argue that women should devote their time to their houses. Katrina Alcorn explained in her book that working women are prone to several embarrassing situations where they are obliged to feel sorry every time they miss a meeting or arrive late to work (Rich, 2010). That means they can avoid apologizing each time by taking the job of a real mother only. An example is Jake, a working mother, who missed her children’s immunization just because of work (Rich, 2010). So, it is unethical to mess up with the health of children when it is supposed to be the most important issue for who are called mothers. Portugal, Sweden, Denmark, US, Norway….etc are some of the countries with the highest percent of working mothers and the increase is on the road. Consequently children suffer from parental bonding and can develop mistrust in their mothers. In these countries women have to leave their kids in a day care center and to pick them up after work. Mothers feel exhausted and have no time for that. Thus these kids sleep alone and wake up the next day following the same routine. Lots of mothers leave their kids several days without attempting to visit them even. Many children are nurtured by babysitters and tend to show more love towards them to the extent they call them as mothers. Mothers are really selfish to think about money only where love and care are much more important. Mothers are supposed to be role models to their children. Spending time with the computer, with employers, with officers and paperwork does not define what an actual mother should do. A survey revealed that 63% of working men and 52% of working women admitted that mothers staying outside home influence their children negatively especially if they are less than six year olds (“ Working Mothers: Effects on Children”,1983). That is, at this age specifically children need special care and spending little time is not enough to fulfill what a child really needs. Moreover these children are more likely to duplicate a grade, have several colds per year and suffer mental stressors. Also the effects of a full time employed mother are very similar to rising up in a single-parent family. Educational outcomes are noticeable with below average grades and lots of absences. Students are 20% less likely to get an A. Not to forget the psychological distresses and emotional ignorance their kids experience (Douchty, n.d.). Thus ignorance regardless of its type is a kind of emotional abuse that is against the principles of child’s rights. In addition children who spent most of their times in day care centers are more likely to be aggressive and have mysterious behaviors. Not to forget that boys are more affected than girls (Lewin, 2002). As a result, boys tend to be more aggressive and need continuous follow up that is not provided in day care centers due to the large number of kids. Mothers offer more attention at the behavior of her children through observation at home. Specialists argue that women work only to fill their free time when their kids are out thus considered as unstable wives. If mothers work thirty hours or more outside, her kids are more likely to have cognitive deficits (Coontz, 2013). In other words, the thinking process would decline as a result of deficient reinforcement and educational awards that are essential in building own powers of knowledge. Children need someone beside, someone who listens to them, who stand by their side and catch their hand when in need. Most kids prefer to share their secrets and worries with their mothers and need help in taking the wise decisions so the absence of the primary care provider is extremely devastating in this case. On the other hand supporters argue that mothers are considered the primary care givers and support to their kids. Their function is indispensable to producing well accustomed adults who develop to become positive contributors to society. Hence, a successful man who contributes to the benefit of his surrounding is the product of a good mother. If a mother is absent from home, it is looked at ridiculously by society. In addition mothers are the influential leaders of society. That is why they tend to struggle to combat corruption and demoralization that the big authorities committed. Mothers tend to nourish and teach generations not only morals, but also disciplines. A great example is Ms. Sanaa that started as a teacher to end up being counselor. That is, mothers can make influential shifts that target the benefits of society and population. Besides, they occupy high positions to make a change whether in a simple office or a government. They strive for equality and create several associations that support human rights holding several workshops and awareness campaigns. One of the important ones located in Ebadieh Mount Lebanon. The last orientation addressed women’s right in childcare in case of divorce or separation. It also highlighted the issue of mother’s rights in giving the nationality to their children. Therefore society cannot progress without working mothers- the leaders for a better future and the major contributors of prosperity in the society. Adding to the previous argument in the previous paragraph, working mothers also play an extremely essential role in sustaining their marriage, providing the best for their children and improving the economic status. Freidan (2013) explained that women who engage in the fieldwork are happier, their marriage is more satisfied and their children would flourish. Coontz (2013) in her article showed that two third of women are married and employed and are the primary breadwinners. This in return lowers the percentages of divorce thus saving marriage relationships. Moreover a study in the US proved that children of working mothers have lesser behavioral problems and tend to achieve high intellectual standards (Coontz, 2013). Accordingly, high quality behavior as explained by psychologists is dependent on good parenting practices. Additionally children whose mothers contribute in the economical income face no cognitive impairments as compared to those whose mothers stay at home. Also, child’s wellbeing is not solely influenced by mother, a number of factors such as home atmosphere, fatherhood and schools play a role too. Furthermore the work conditions of the mother and the challenges she faces can make her a better mother (Rich, 2010). Definitely, she tends to build better problem-solving capabilities due to the challenges she faces and the mistakes she learns from every day. Likewise, families with low income are more prone to fights and relation instabilities compared to families with dual parent working. Mothers have lots of chores to do where they find no time for themselves. They work hard to provide their children high quality of life, to support their marriage, to improve the economic status. Not only working mothers are more satisfied with their marriage, but also give more freedom to their kids. They discover the outside world and get a better perceptive of what is erroneous and what is correct. They tend to achieve self fulfillment and self actualization by exploring the surrounding .In contrast a mother who stays at home feels more stressed, incomplete and disappointed. A working mother helps her children manage their time and interact better with people. Because she spends most of her day at work, she gives them more space and freedom for self determination opposite to housewives who interfere in their children’s life and annoy them. Moreover children of working mothers are more independent. The gigantic majority of mothers today with very young children are working in different fields of study and gaining money. They prioritize the chores of the day despite their busy schedule and accept any changes they face. Women’s activity reached its peak before the age of 35 with 1454 working women 15 year olds or more. Not to forget the ruthless schedule, the lack of paid maternity and the stressors of everyday (Dell’atonia, 2013). Actually, work facilities are slight and need to be more supportive taking into consideration women’s right to maternal rest and paid salaries. Despite the challenges they face, mothers remain the survivors of the hard journey. Yet, some rules and regulations must be reviewed and balanced for the sake of motherhood. For example, Ola gave birth to a baby girl 6 month ago where she felt guilty staying home due to the monetary losses she faced as a result of extending the period allowed postpartum. Working mothers are more flexible and understanding and tend to respect their kid’s own space and privacy. To sum up, working mothers deserve support due to the efforts they contribute to society and sacrifices they deliver for the sake of their children. Not to forget the obstacles they struggle to preserve their marriage and the countless achievements they accomplish. However, children have the right of maternity and care that working women are not aware of. Their educational outcomes are affected by the number of working hours of their mothers. Although opponents and devotees differ in their approach toward the issue of working mothers, it remains the circumstances in which the mother lives, the work place and the presence of a significant other that determine their ability to withstand the demands of everyday life. For example a supporting husband can help in childbearing, house work and finances along with teaching his children and following up on their vaccines. My father is an excellent model of supportive husband. He used to cook and clean whenever he arrives early from work. He supported my mother throughout her life since our birth and never say no once. Both moms and dads contribute to the welfare of their children only if they construct a strong- understanding relationship that never breaks in front simple arguments. Let us open our eyes on the importance of working mothers. Let us applause what mothers have achieved in the history till now and let us all struggle to protect their rights. Coontz, S. (July1, 2013). The Triumph of the working mother. The New York Times . Retrieved from http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/02/opinion/sunday/coontz-the-triumph-of-the-working-mother.html?_r=0. Dell'antonia , K.J, (November 4, 2013). Being a working mother means always Having to say you’re sorry. The New York Times . Retrieved from http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/11/04/being-a-working-mother-means-always-having-to-say-youre-sorry/. Douchty, S. (n.d.). Working mothers risk damaging their child's prospects. Mailonline. Retrieved from http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-30342/Working-mothers-risk-damaging-childs-prospects.html. Lewin, T. (July17, 2002). Study links working mothers to slower learning . The New York Times. Retrieved from http://www.nytimes.com/2002/07/17/education/17CHIL.html. Rich, M. (August3, 2010). Don’t worry, working moms. The New York Times . Retrieved from http://economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/08/03/dont-worry-working-moms/ Working mothers: Effect on children. (1993). The New York Times . Retreived from http://www.nytimes.com/1983/07/28/garden/working-mothers-effect-on-children.html