Joy Homsy:A Mother or a Boss?

A Mother or a Boss? A mother or a boss? This is a controversial question that is being asked nowadays in society. People question women’s ability to manage both their house and their work and give them the choice to pick only one of the two hard tasks. But shouldn’t we get over this doubt concerning women’s capacities? Well, this puts us in front of the debatable issue of working mothers that has been subject to many studies in the past decades. Society thinks that career-oriented women are not supposed to be mothers, as if a woman should stay at home all day long in order to ensure the best child care for her children. But this is not the case; women are multitasking and can balance between motherhood and work. It is definitely challenging and effortful, but it brings up very satisfying results for the woman herself, her family and for society. The main reason behind opposing mothers’ work is the education of the children and their intellectual growth that may be affected. They say that a busy career-oriented woman will not have enough time to take care of her children and to assure them all they need, and that her work will become her priority. Mainly this becomes more difficult for one to five year-olds, knowing that they need much more care and that their education and nutrition at this age will affect their growth. Many studies have been conducted in order to prove this theory. Doughty (n.d.) mentions in his article a research done by Joseph Rowntree Foundation on “1263 young people across all social groups who were born in the 1970s”. This study showed that children at a very young age whose mothers worked seem to have lower learning capacities and greater risk of psychological distress (Doughty, n.d.). Well, it appears that working mothers are causing the damage of their children’s prospect. Another study shows both the consequences of the maternal employment and that of the quality of the child care. This study is based on data from The National Institute of Child Health of Human Development Study of Early Child Care and is “considered the most comprehensive child-care study to date” (Lewin, 2002, p.1). It indicates that an employment of thirty hours a week or more, as well as a very early child care before nine months will lead to lower scores on readings tests at age three. On the other hand, an average home environment and an average quality child care after nine months will let the three years old child score well at the 50th percentile on the Bracken School Readiness test that evaluates the knowledge of colors, letters and numbers (Lewin, 2002). Last but not least, it seems that a child who has a good quality child care and whose mother takes care of him after work will get a good score in that test. So is maternal employment really behind the damage of a child’s prospect? Well, it depends on the woman’s ability to manage both “jobs”. It is common that a husband prefers his wife to be a stay-at-home mother in order to take care of the children and the needs of the house. But what about the financial rewards it can get? Actually a working mother has the chance to raise the standard of living of her family. Today’s living expenses are high and are increasing ever year. Actually being a housewife isn’t really a benefit for children because financial distress is a source of marital unhappiness and conflicts in the family (Coontz, 2013). So both a husband and his wife share financial responsibilities towards their family. Rich (2010, p.1) agrees with this fact and states in his article that a study “found that children whose mothers improved the family income significantly, or selected high quality child care, or remained sensitive to their children did not have any cognitive setbacks when compared with children of stay-at-home mothers”. Simply, a mother’s income improves her family’s financial status and helps her children get all their needs including a high quality child care. Other than this, a working woman gives back to her society and ensures a better economical cycle. There are many jobs that need to be fulfilled by women, and in this way mothers’ employment participates in the progress of society. A woman does not work for the sake of financial rewards only, but mainly for the intellectual need to work. A mother’s need for self-achievement is as important as her child’s need for care, and actually “women who like their work and find it challenging make better mothers” (Rich, 2010, p.2). A mother needs to pursue a career just like her husband, and there’s no need to speak about gender intellectual equality because we are past this issue. A working mother earns the respect of her husband and that of her children. Actually she is an inspiration for her children that can look up to her instead of looking up to someone else. The inspiration is right at their home! So it is certain that working improves women’s well being because it gives her the chance to use all qualifications she has and education she received, as well as an ability to maintain a high profile in her chosen career. The life of a working woman is full of exuberance compared to that of a stay-at-home mother. On a personal level stay-at-home mothers show more episodes of anger and depression than their employed counterparts (Coontz, 2013). Also working mothers have a better physical and mental health when they become forty years old. Their marriage is then more satisfying and their children more happy (Coontz, 2013). It seems that even if women think of work as self-interest and a need for personal achievements, it is also bringing pride and joy to her husband and children. Above all, mothers’ work is beneficial for the education of their children, even if it doesn’t seem obvious. High quality childcare offers very satisfying intellectual conditions for the child, and it also helps him become sociable due to the time he spends with other children. Dough (n.d.) claims that the development of childcare increases the educational chances of working mothers’ children. Actually a child doesn’t need to stay next to his mother all day long, or he’ll end up being much attached to her which is not good for him. When his mother is at work, the child is either at the childcare or at his relatives, and with different people around every day he becomes emancipated and comfortable in society. What is also important to the child is his father’s care which becomes more intense when the mother is working. The husband feels the responsibility of educating his children and shares it with his wife. A study showed that when mothers started working fathers increased the amount of time spent with their children (Coontz, 2013). As for the mother’s attitude, it is evident that a working mother has an intense interaction with her kids when she gets back home every day, and even more intense during the week end. Even her work cannot prevent her from staying connected during the day once every while. So in this way a working mother will make sure that her children get all the care and education they need for a perfect growth, even if she’s away during the day. This being said, there is no doubt that women can balance between work and motherhood. Multitasking working mothers are managing their two “jobs” and proving their intellectual and educating capacities to themselves, their family and to society. We should stop debating whether we want mothers to work or not, and start applying working conditions and that will let families take full advantage of the benefits of women’s employment and reduce its stresses. To answer the question: a mother or a boss? Simply, both! Joy Homsy joy.elhomsy@lau.edu